These kids are my life, my joy, my pride and my happiness.

These kids are also my challenge, my worry, my stress and my heartache.

I always say that having kids is simultaneously the best and worst thing I've ever done to myself. I mean it.I wouldn't change it for one minute, but I'd be lying if I said that my mental health hasn't worsened since I became a mum.

I'm anxious. I worry about the future and I despise things that are out of my control. Now I have the two most precious things in the world and ultimately their health and happiness is (at least in part) out of my control. It's the most difficult thing I've had to face: I can only protect them from so much.

I've discovered the importance of having a very strong support network (an out-of-this-world partner, incredible parents, fantastic friends). I've discovered the fundamental need to talk things through and be honest about it all, without shame or fear of judgement where possible, because it's the only way to realise that you're not alone in any of it.

Being a mum makes you the most vulnerable you've ever been, and while that is an abject fear that comes with that, there is also profound beauty.

Unless you've been living under a rock lately, you'll know that Encanto and its catchy number one hit "We Don't Talk About Bruno" are everywhere. We watch a lot of Disney in our house, so we fully expected that our son would want to watch Encanto when it made it to Disney+, and made the most of a Sunday afternoon to watch it as a family. Since then it has become a firm favourite. Our son asks to watch the film several times a week and listens to the soundtrack on a daily basis. My husband and I catch each other humming the songs around the house several times a day.

I don't mind this at all. In fact, I really like it. Why? Because Encanto is magical in so many ways. It may be aimed at children, but it's the best film I've seen in a long time. It's not like the Disney films I watched as a child, where there was a good guy and a bad guy and a happily ever after; it's deep and multi-faceted. It contains so many things I want my children to learn as they grow, and a few that I could do with remembering for myself as well.

The main pull of the movie is the music. A brilliantly-written soundtrack by the genius that is Lin-Manuel Miranda.  

My son's favourite song is the earworm-worthy "We Don't Talk About Bruno", and I can see why - it's super catchy and fun. It's also a masterclass in story-telling through music. It felt very like something from a West End/Broadway musical, where various perspectives are given in one song, with voices all overlapping, to paint the desired picture of why we're supposed to be wary of Bruno.

My husband has taken a particular liking to calm, beauty of Dos Oruguitas. It's melodic, serene and emotional. It's sung in Spanish in the movie, so the meaning of the song isn't immediately clear, but we watch everything with subtitles on (we read somewhere that it was good a good thing to do when teaching a child to read) so we were able to appreciate the fact that the film's whole lesson is summarised in this one song.

Don't you hold on too tight.
Both of you know, it's your time to grow, to fall apart, to reunite.

I, on the other hand, am torn between "Surface Pressure" and "What Else Can I Do?" as my favourite song.

"Surface Pressure" has been adopted as an older sibling anthem; with lyrics like:

Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt
and see if she can handle every family burden.

it's not hard to see why. But there's so much more than an older sibling strength going on here. I relate to the lyrics in so many different parts of my life, as a mum, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and just generally as a human being. My favourite lyric in the whole song is:

Who am I if I can't carry it all?
If I falter.

Under the surface
I hide my nerves and it worsens, I worry something is gonna hurt us.

The lyrics are so incredibly clever. At one point, Luisa sings about the Titanic, saying:

The ship doesn't swerve as it
heard how big the iceberg is.

Except that the ship sank. It should have swerved. It's a great hidden message about how Luisa has misunderstood her strength, and should, in fact, be asking for help when she needs it.

Also, as a side note, I love that Disney are portraying a strong, beautiful, layered character like Luisa. Showing kids that beauty is not just found in the traditional Isabella-style grace and charm, but also in the less conventionally accepted strength and courage.  

Vying for the title of my favourite Encanto song is the song that Mirabel's other sister sings. She's initially very unlikeable in the film, but Isabella shows a hidden depth in her anthem "What Else Can I Do?" - a song about the expectation of being perfect all the time.

The meaning behind the lyrics are impossible beautiful when you consider they are featured in a cartoon film, but they really hit home as an important life message:

What could I do if I just grew what I was feeling in the moment?
What could I do if I just knew it didn't need to be perfect?
It just needed to be.

and my personal favourite:

I'm so sick of pretty, I want something true, don't you?

The back and forth between Isabella and Mirabel is beautiful, as they come to understand each other better. Isabella is in the middle of exploring her new found skills, constantly asking what else she can do, with Mirabel's only responses being supportive messages like "grow", "show 'em what you can do" and "there's nothing you can't do".

Combine these two songs together and you pretty much have my personality wrapped up. I have sung them both on repeat for days now.

Aside from the soundtrack, the story itself is beautiful. Abuela learning that the best way to love someone is to let them be themselves, and that family is more important than anything. The mother, Julieta, being able to heal with her food is a lovely metaphor for how mothers nurture their families. Mirabel learning that just because she doesn't have magical powers like the rest of her family, doesn't mean she's any less special or valuable.

Here are the top lessons I've found nestled in the plot that I hope remain with me and my kids for a long time to come:

Just because your gift isn't obvious, doesn't mean you don't have one

Mirabel has several moments in the film where she laments her lack of powers and questions whether or not she is adding anything to the family dynamic, often over-compensating in other ways to make up for her lack of gift. But, as you would expect from a feel-good Disney film, she realises that her gift may, in fact, be the most important one of all. It masquerades as something ordinary and every-day, but it is anything but.

The best gift you can ever have is to be able to show others unconditional kindness and support

And this is Mirabel's superpower. It takes a while to pick up on it, but she has a very soothing, open nature, and is supportive of every member of her family. It starts right at the beginning, when the village kids ask about her gift and she spends the whole opening number telling them about all the amazing things her relatives can do and how she's proud to be a part of their family. Then she calms Antonio's nerves effortlessly just before his gift ceremony. She gets Luisa to release some of her burden, helps Isabella realise that she doesn't have to be perfect all of the time, promises to bring Bruno back into the family circle, and even helps Abuela to feel better after their fight breaks the encanto. She never asks anyone in her family to be anything other than their true selves, and it's magical.

You don't have to shoulder life's burdens on your own

This is most obvious in Luisa's anthem and storyline, with her realising that she isn't weak if she needs to ask for help. But, there are other plot points that help illustrate it:

• Mirabel takes the pressure of saving the miracle on her own shoulders, but isn't capable of doing what she needs to without support from Bruno, Antonio, Isabella and Abuela.
• Delores keeps quiet about her feelings for Mariano, but with a little help from Mirabel and Isabella, she gets the man of her dreams.
• Bruno has given up on his gift because he came to believe that it caused nothing but pain, but with Mirabel's help, he opens up to the knowledge that he just wasn't seeing the whole picture.

It's a lovely demonstration of a problem shared really and truly being a problem halved.

Perfection is not sustainable

Isabella spends the first half of the film coming off as irritable and unlikeable, with her perfect movement and arrogant attitude. It's only when you hear her sing about the pressure that she's under, that you realise that it was all her way of coping with the expectation constantly placed on her to not even so much as have a strand of hair out of place. Once she comes to terms with the fact that it's ok not to be perfect all the time, she softens and warms. The pressure of perfection was literally making her miserable, and it wasn't worth it.  

Your strength can also be your downfall if you put too much emphasis and focus on it - everything in moderation

Several of the characters are shown to struggle with their gift throughout the film:

• Luisa feels that she has to be strong to the point of never showing any weakness of body or emotion
• Isabella maintains perfection at all times, causing herself misery and making life decisions based on what she thinks other people will want rather than what she wants
• Pepa is so busy trying to avoid the negative emotions that she feels because they cause rain and storms, that she ends up storming even more than she would if she just felt what she felt (she her wedding day - Bruno pointed out that she seemed a little nervous and she ended up causing a hurricane)
• Delores can hear everyone's every move, including the fact that Bruno is in the walls of the house, but is so quiet in herself that her wishes and feelings often get sidelined because she doesn't speak up over the other voices in the room.

This further illustrates that nothing is perfect, and that every gift comes with it's own challenges, the same as Mirabel struggles with having "no gift" at all. Blessings can also be curses if you don't keep them in check and use them wisely. Helping others can come at a cost if you're not looking after yourself at the same time.

This film is soooo much more than a kid's cartoon. It's a film that is fast climbing up my list of favourite films; I love it more with every viewing. It's a wonderful story, beautifully animated, with catchy music that you'll be humming for weeks and a lesson or two about the real meaning of love and acceptance, and how your perspective can make or break your life.

Or at least that's what I hope...

I have everything I dreamed of having when I was growing up, and I'm not enjoying it.

By that, I don't mean that I wish for something different, I mean I'm taking it for granted and I'm focusing on the wrong parts of it.

I'm incredibly lucky; I have two beautiful children, a supportive husband, pets I adore, a home I love being in, and so much more to be thankful for in my life. I forget this every single day.

I get so swept up in the stress and bustle of it all, that I'm missing the best parts of it. I'm so busy thinking about what comes next or what needs to be done before bedtime that I'm losing whole days and missing the brilliant chaos of young family life.

Instead of appreciating the beauty of watching my 3-year-old play with all his toys, I find myself thinking about the fact that I can't see the floor and wanting to tidy it all away.

Instead of focusing on the fact that my husband came in from a full day at work and sorted all the laundry without a word or a question (again), I choose to nag him about the fact that left his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor last night, because I sometimes feel like a maid and it's easy to take that out on him.

Instead of appreciating the moments where my children are playing together as a beautiful bonding moment, I stress over the fact that my son might make my daughter sick (my health anxiety has latched on to my baby daughter's fragility big time) and find myself trying to create space between them.

In short, I spend so much of my time worrying, overthinking and planning for the future, that I'm missing what's right in front of me; I'm missing the experiences that make the life I've dreamed of (my actual life) a reality.

And while there is value in teaching my kids to tidy up after themselves, and showing them that being a homeowner comes with a responsibility that is hard to shake, I don't want that to be their lasting memory of me. I want them to remember fun, shared experiences, love and presence.

I don't want my husband to think that I don't value him being there right beside me in this madness and beauty that we chose together. I don't want our children to grow and leave home, and for us to have nothing left in common because we focused on them and forgot to be us. He plays a big part in keeping me sane and I know that burden is a big one for him to bear; I hope he knows how much I appreciate it, and plan on making it much clearer to him.

So I'm determined to change. I want to be calmer, more fun to be around and generally a more optimistic person. Worry and busyness are getting me nowhere but stuck in a hamster wheel, so time to try something different.

I know that it won't be easy, and I won't succeed all the time, but I want to learn to pick my battles rather than actioning every thought that pops into my head or wearing every emotion I feel on my face. I want to learn to enjoy the beautiful messiness of having a young family before it's too late. I want to remember the important things in the moment and let them influence my reaction, rather than feeling guilt three hours later when I look back on how I could have handled a situation with more compassion and care.

I'm starting with a few small things to build good habits and then I'll go from there:

Showing appreciation in the moment

I will spend more time recognising and vocalising my appreciation for the little things that my family do every day to show their support and their love. Anything from thanking my husband for taking the rubbish out, to telling my sister-in-law that I appreciate her being on the other end of the phone to rant about our kids.

Writing down what I'm grateful for at the end of every day

And I don't mean the obvious things like a roof over my head and food to eat, I mean things that are specific to that day. The small things that can be easily glanced over and forgotten unless you shine a light on them. I'm going to aim for at least 5 (some days will be harder than others) but write down as many as I can think of.

Counting to 10 before responding to a situation

I'm very in the moment when it comes to my reactions. I flip a lid or say express feelings of frustration and then wish I'd just keep my mouth shut, so if I give myself some room to pause, hopefully, I can squash some of the immediate ire and replace it with something more constructive or positive.

Fingers crossed these things will make an improvement, and I'll stop feeling so guilty about my mopey mood and appreciate more of what I've already got.

I'm not normally one for setting New Year's Resolutions, no one ever sticks to them anyway and I don't believe I need to become a new person every 12 months. 2021 was a big year for me though, my whole world shifted (again) when I had my second baby in August. Anyone who has had a baby knows how the experience throws your whole life balance off-kilter. The last few months of our family life have been chaotic (in the best way), but the new year seems like the perfect time to try to get a bit of order and structure back again, so this year I decided to set goals for the year (I'm not calling them resolutions, because I'm stubborn!)

Goal #1: Reset the house

We've lived in our house for nearly 5 years now. I love our home; it had all of our must-haves and most of our nice-to-haves when we found it. It's been the only home our kids have ever known and we're very happy here. BUT, we've not really done anything to it - the odd lick of paint and some work in the garden - and I'd love to put more of our personality into this house. We got pregnant a few months after we moved in, so we've been focusing on the living part, meaning the house has become what it needs to be to serve our needs, but there's so much untapped potential in our space that I'd love to focus on now.

This year I want to curate our spaces so that we thrive in them instead of just live in them. I want to decorate with intention, make sure everything that we keep in our home has a purpose and feel like our home works for us as a whole family.

Goal #2: Worry less

I'm an anxious person, that's no secret to anyone that knows me, and I have no issue with being open about it. The past couple of years have been tough on everyone, and mental health has become a hot topic as a result. Having mental health challenges before the pandemic has meant that everything that was there before has been heightened and magnified to a new degree (my poor family), and I found that having a child during that time period compounded a lot of stuff for me.

I have found that my health anxiety has reached all new heights and worrying has once again become something that is consuming my life, so it's time to get back in the driver's seat and take control. That might mean revisiting counselling, and potentially even medication again, but the first step has been admitting that it's time to get help rather than struggling through stubbornly.

Goal #3: Parent mindfully

Having a second child has been a bigger uphill struggle than I anticipated; I knew it wouldn't be easy but the challenge has still managed to catch me off-guard. I love my children more than life itself, and I wouldn't be without them, but the relentlessness of having two children has bought a level of mental exhaustion to my life that I didn't know was possible. This has meant a significant lowering of standards as I live in survival mode from day to day, and a much shorter fuse.

Obviously, this isn't somewhere I want to be long-term, either for my sanity or for my children's development, so I'm aiming to get back to a place where I feel like I'm parenting proactively rather than reactively. It's going to be a lot of work, and a shift in mindset, but it's the most important work I'll ever do so it's worth the effort.

Goal #4: Read more

I'm a big reader, always have been. It's a big part of how I relax, and also a great coping mechanism for my anxiety. Having two kids means there's not as much time for reading as there used to be, but I've come to realise that actually, that's not my biggest issue when it comes to how much I read. The main problem is my focus' it's easier to binge-watch crappy TV or scroll through Instagram. I say I have less spare time available to me, but I reckon I lose at least half-hour a day to Instagram and Facebook, so how much more could I read if I spent that time with a book instead?

I'm aiming for more self-discipline when it comes to how I spend my time, in the hope that I'll feel like I'm focusing more of my time on me as an individual, and that self-care isn't something that's taken a backseat for me.

I've seen a lot of people on social media setting a word for the year. If you add all of my goals together, I think the overarching theme is that I want to live with a bit more INTENTION behind my actions. Instead of fumbling around day-to-day reacting to what's going on around me, I want to make mindful decisions about how I parent my children, what comes into my home (and leaves it), how I spend my time and how I treat myself.

So there you have it, 2022 is going to be my year of intention. I'm not putting any pressure on myself though, because even if I manage to do part of what I've set out here it'll put me in a better place than I am right now. There's nothing wrong with who I am right now, so I'm not aiming for a new me, I'm just aiming for a simpler version of the life I already have. Perfection is NOT the aim here, progress is. Change is not the aim here, improvement is.  

I've been in decluttering mode for months now - it started during my second pregnancy, when I had the sudden realisation that having two kids meant I was going to have to be super organised. There was going to be a whole extra person's stuff in my home (babies do NOT travel light) and I didn't want to feel overwhelmed by out belongings, so I needed to try to get ahead of the curve.

I managed a whole go through of the house while I was pregnant, getting rid of some stuff and putting some organisation systems in place. Despite that, I'm now three months into having two kids and I'm constantly chasing my tail to keep on top of my to do list for even the basics of keeping the house tidy and clean. It's tough, and it's beginning to get me down, so I want to try to unpack what's going on so that I can do something about it.

Here are the reasons I think I'm struggling:

Wrong systems in place

Like most people, I have the me that I would like to be and the me that I actually am. I would love to be the Pinterest-inspired, Insta-worthy mum/homeowner, but I'm just too practical for that - I need function over form (see my last blog on the kids' playroom for how this works in action).

On my first round of the house, I organised in several different ways without taking the time to really understand what works for me. I also organised based on how I want things to work for me without properly considering that there are three other people living here, and their styles are different to mine; if I want their help maintaining the house then it has to work for them too.

I have recently binge-watched an American TV series called Hot Mess House - the presenter, Cas, has her own organising business (Clutterbugs). Watching this, and some of her YouTube videos, has helped me to realise that I like detailed, highly organised, visual solutions, whereas my husband is more laid back and needs solutions to have broader, easier categories. The kids are too young to have a preference but they need easy, visual solutions so they are more aligned with my husband. It would appear we mostly lean towards visual organisation, but if I want everyone to be involved then I may have to compromise on the level of detail within our systems.

A great example of how we differ is our kitchen - I like to decant all of our shopping into containers in our cupboards and fridge so that I can see exactly what we have. It also makes everything look more uniform and has the added benefit of being able to grab and go one-handed; when you have a 3 month old and a 3 year old demanding your attention this is crucial for staying hydrated and fed during the day (it also means our 3 year old can self-serve his snacks and drinks while I'm feeding his sister). The problem with this solution is that my husband likes minimal fuss when he's tidying up (dump and go is his default), so he hates decanting everything. This means I have to go behind him and do it when he's the one to put the shopping away, meaning that it's easier for me to just do it all in the first place.

I'm not sure what the solution to this is, but I know we need to find one.

Too much stuff

Watching shows Hot Mess House and Stacey Solomon's Sort Your Life Out have helped me to realise that my first round of decluttering and organising wasn't anywhere near ruthless enough. I can't say that I love or use everything in my house, which means I still have more to get rid of. I'm a big over-thinker, so I always tend to see the potential use for something, or worry about needing it in the future, or feel guilty for letting it go because it was a gift/cost a lot of money.

I also have a habit of over-buying - if I pop out for one thing I never come home with just that one thing. I have a drawer full of chocolate in my fridge (if you don't already store your chocolate in the fridge, I seriously recommend it), but I still buy more everytime I go to B&M/Home Bargains.

I know now that I need to be more ruthless, both in and out of my home, because it's not just about getting rid of the stuff that's already here, it's about learning not to bring more stuff back in as well.

Unrealistic expectations

Like I said before, there's the me I want to be and the me I am. The me I want to be aims for picture-perfect, Home Edit worthy organisation that is never out of place because the whole family maintains it. The me I am is a mum of two young kids wiht very little time and energy on my hands, whose perfectionist tendencies end up creating pressure that doesn't need to be there.

My life is currently entirely focused on raising my children, and while I need my house to be more practical and efficient, I need to be ok with letting go of the idea of a perfect home. I often look around, see things I'd like to change or improve, and get frustrated because I can't get to it right now - I need to learn the patience of doing a little but at a time and seeing improvements accumulate over time.

Some of this self-inflicted pressure comes from the fact that I am now a stay-at-home mum. I hate feeling unproductive and I've somehow created the belief that if I don't manage to run a perfect home then I'm not being productive with all of my time at home and I'm a bad mum/wife. Logically I can appreciate that these things are unrelated, but it still seems to be driving my actions and thinking. Unpicking this belief is going to be key to moving forward successfully and not feeling down about (inevitable) mild mess and clutter in my home, so if anyone has any tips, feel free to send them over!

So what it all boils down is that decluttering isn't about just decluttering for me. It's partially about having an easier home life, but it's also about having a feeling of control over my life, undoing bad habits, learning to be kinder to myself and getting closer to the me that I want to be.

All of this is going to take time and patience, neither of which I have in abundance. Wish me luck!

P.S. Here's what that very unorganised drawer looked like once I was done with it... (nice and organised but still way too many candles!)

We're very fortunate to be able to have a playroom in our house for our kids, but I've recently had to rejig how it's organised because it just wasn't working for anyone anymore.

Our playroom is our conservatory - we found that we weren't making the most of the room so we were able to kill two birds with one stone: we found a purpose for the room and found a way to hide our sons ever-growing collection of toys.

So first, a quick overview of the main features of our playroom. We converted it as a first birthday present for our now 3 year old son. We worked with what we had to store at the time and went for stereotypical kids toy storage - toy chests and a shelving unit with funky canvas baskets. The floor is too hard for a toddler to play on, so we fashioned our own floor out of the foam alphabet and numbers you can get in toy stores. We also have a sofa bed in there (we had it already) for the dual purpose of a surplus bed for guests and somewhere comfy for grown-ups to sit when they're supervising play time.

Fast forward two years and our son's toy collection has inevitably grown, to a point where the storage solutions we had weren't working - there weren't enough shelves and the baskets were too small. Our son has graduated beyond baby toys to bigger things like train sets and play kitchens. We started using Really Useful Boxes to contain everything; they're clear, so we can see everything that's in them, and they're easy to stack.

Sad as it made me to lose the visual impact of our playroom, we bit the bullet last week and decided to ditch the fun shelving for a complete run of Really Useful Boxes to store all the toys in. We decided that functionality was more important than appearance. The shelving unit has been relocated to our son's bedroom so he can have a few more toys up there, so we're still making good use of everything we bought (as Rocky from Paw Patrol would say, "don't lose it, reuse it!" - yes my life is just a series of Paw Patrol quotes now that I have a 3 year old). It's not the prettiest solution in the world but it suits our current organisational needs for that space.

There are a few key benefits that make losing the aesthetic worthwhile:

1. It's versatile

The Really Useful Boxes come in a variety of sizes that can all be neatly stacked on top of each other for uniformity, meaning we can always find a box that's the right size for a particular kind of toy but still keep some sort of order to how they're stored. With our daughter now here, our toy collection will only get bigger and more diverse - the playroom system we have now supports this.

2.  It's visual

We found that our son was only playing with the toys that he could see, meaning that all the things that were hidden in the baskets were being neglected. Now that everything is visible inside the clear boxes, we're hoping for a better toy rotation. This should be helped by the fact that everything is now put back in the playroom each night (no matter where it's been played with) so he sees all of his toys each time he goes in to get something out to play with. Which brings me nicely on to...

3. It's functional again

We had got to a point where none of us were spending any time in the playroom, and our son's favourite toys were just stacked up in a corner of our living room. The redesign means that all of the toys once again live in the playroom, meaning that we're more likely to spend time playing in there again; we have to go in there to get them out, so we're more likely to just get them out on the floor in there instead. Additionally, I can't stress the importance of having our living room back again. You can't underestimate how important it is for a parent (especially one who's at home all day) to be able to relax in a space that's free of kid clutter at the end of the day. He still has a few toys in the living room, but it no longer feels like Toys'R'Us (showing my age now!) have opened a branch next to our sofa!

So there you have it, I learned an organisational lesson the hard way last month - Insta-worthy spaces mean jack-s**t if they're not serving the purpose they were intended for. Yes we have a slightly less pretty play space now, but we have one that is much more likely to be used as a result of being willing to sacrifice the idea of how a playroom should look. And who knows, maybe form will follow function after all, and we'll find a way to make it prettier again, but right now I don't care as long as my kids can play away the hours in a space that's made for them.

Anyone who is into organising will understand the concept of a command centre - Pinterest and Instagram are full of inspirational pictures of various set-ups. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the idea, it's a space in a central place in your home which holds vital family info like shared calendars, home management binders, to dos and paperwork.

I decided to combine a command centre with a mudroom-style entryway to meet our family's needs. It's located right next to our front door as that's what made the most sense to us, but I know the kitchen is also a popular spot. I thought I'd do a quick tour of the set-up to share the inspiration behind each part of it and how it's helping to make our lives simpler.

Here it is, our command centre:

Each part is numbered so you can match it up with what I've written below.

1. Corkboard

A catch-all memo board for any loose papers we need quick access to, such as coupons, stamps, receipts, etc (it's also the home for our bin collection calendar!) It's handy for remembering to grab things on the way out the door; a recent example is that I had my covid vaccination card pinned there so I remembered to pick it up before I headed to my second jab appointment.

2. "This week" chalkboard

I opted not to put a family calendar in our command centre because we already have a shared Google calendar for family appointments, and my husband and I both prefer digital input. However, it is handy to have the week's headlines at a glance as we're heading in or out of the house. The one we've got came from B&M and cost less than a fiver.

3. To do list

Again. most of what we need to do on a daily or weekly basis is captured in a digital planner, but this notepad is useful for scribbling quick notes so that things aren't forgotten in the hustle and bustle. We also use it to track our bigger weekend clean-ups around the house.

4. Wifi password

We have our wifi password written on a photo frame. It's on the outside of the glass so that I can wipe it clean when we periodically change our password. We've done this so that anyone coming into our house can access our wifi without feeling like they have to ask for it.

5. Key holder

Pretty self-explanatory this one. We wanted something that didn’t necessarily look like a key holder and found this beauty on a stand at the Kent County Show one year.

6. Individual dump boxes

I know my husband well enough to know that if I created a system that was too elaborate, I'd be the only one following it, so we've gone for open baskets foe everyone to dump their stuff in as they come in. These baskets catch wallets, loose change, sunglasses, face masks, hats, gloves - pretty much anything that comes out of a pocket when you get home. A lot of the time, my husband's basket catches his keys as well, because he can't be bothered to hang them up - it works for both us, he gets to dump and go and I'm still happy because they're contained somewhere. My husband and I have a basket each, the kids are both small enough that they share a basket at the moment, and the fourth basket is for the dog's poop bags and lead. The dog's harness is too big for the basket, so we hung a little hook on some empty glass space we had on the porch door (see 6A).

7. Paperwork

We have three magazine holders to handle all papers. One for incoming papers that haven't been read/opened, one for papers that need action, and one for any outgoing papers. We're attempting to go paperless, so any papers that need scanning before we recycle them go in the action box; with a newborn in the house we're a little behind with our actionable paperwork so that box is currently fuller than I'd like, but at least it's still organised. We have a privacy stamp (like this one) that we use to blot out any personal information before we either recycle the paper or use it as kindling on our log burner. This is a system we're still working on, as we have a habit of leaving little piles of paperwork in random places where we've read mail while doing something else, but at least we still have somewhere to corral it all eventually.

8. Shoe baskets

Like the catch-all baskets above, we have individual baskets for shoes below (again, the kids share) to house shoes that we take off when we get home, or want quick access to (most of the shoes in the house are in under-bed storage). The idea of the baskets is that if your shoes are overflowing out the top of the basket, you have too many shoes at the front door and need to take some upstairs. Previous to the baskets, there was a massive, messy pile of shoes on that shelf - it was challenging to dig out a matching pair and horrid to look at. This hides most of the mess in containers, but still allows the speed of dump and go (seeing a theme yet?).

9. Bag hooks

This came purely from laziness. The first iteration of this system saw bags stored in the shoe baskets, but this became problematic as it meant there was only room for one pair of shoes in each basket. That wasn't working for anyone so now we hang the bags up.

10. Shopping bags

We're trying to reduce the amount of shopping bags that come into the house. I got into a terrible habit of forgetting to take bags out with me and having to pay for new ones when out and about. As well as purging the bags we currently have at home, I've hung a little hook in the dead space behind the stair gate in an attempt to encourage me to grab some bags on the way out the door. It's not foolproof, but it's certainly helping.

So, there you have it, our command centre. It's by no means a perfect system, but each part of it has been designed to make our lives that little bit easier, and that's the whole point of organisation. The main thing for us to work on now is consistency in using it every day to make sure we're getting maximum benefit out of the system. As always, I'll continue to tweak it as I find certain elements that aren't optimised for our needs, as no organisation system is ever static.

Well, in at the deep end! Body image is a big thing, particularly if you're body is, in itself, a big thing! ‌‌

I went to a family wedding last month, and this weekend we all got to look at the photos. They were beautiful, and there are so many stunning shots of my recently enlarged family. Sadly, even though I adore these new photos of my family of four, I still fell victim to focusing on the size of my body in the photos. I was three weeks postpartum at the time, but apparently that wasn't enough of an excuse for me to cut myself some slack. ‌‌

Having just had my second child, my body has (naturally) changed in many ways in the last year. My boobs have grown and shrunk back down; my stomach has stretched and sprung back; my feet swelled as I carried my daughter through heat waves and gave birth in the middle of summer. In spite of knowing that these changes were coming (because this is not my first rodeo), I've still really struggled with them. My body has provided for and grown two beautiful children and I still can't find it in my heart to let the appreciation of that fact overwhelm the lack of confidence that I suffer with.‌‌

Not being able to read my body's cues as normal, because my body was different, has meant that I have a heightened sense of health anxiety. Every little niggle and ache is NOT to be trusted, or so says my fight or flight response anyway. Everything is cancer. It's illogical and exhausting and really impacts my confidence in my body's ability and appearance. ‌‌

Even with all of the progress that has been made around how society expects a woman to bounce back after childbirth, I still felt disappointed when it took a mere 6 weeks for me to get back into my pre-maternity jeans. I was impatient to feel "normal" again, without processing that actually that normal may be gone forever. My shape is different now, so even though I'm the same size (a 14, just for context), my clothes are a bit more snug than they were because the fit has changed. My boobs have grown full with milk and shrunk back down twice now, and they have finally rested at a point where I think their size has been permanently altered (having to buy all new lingerie is a real shame 😉)‌‌‌‌.

My newborn is a daughter, and having her here has bought home a new awareness of how I speak about my body. I tend to be quite openly hard on myself when I look in the mirror, often asking my patient husband banal questions around, and seeking reassurance about, my kangaroo pouch, or my saggy boobs, my pockmarked and scarred skin, etc. I do not want my daughter, or my son for that matter (in today's world he's just as likely to suffer with poor body image), to grow up thinking that underappreciating their bodies is a normal thing. I want them to be grateful for what their bodies can do for them, and to be confident in the knowledge that as long as they are happy and healthy, what the outer shell looks like is irrelevant. ‌‌

For me, this awareness means I'm now trying really hard not to demonstrate my warped thinking in front of my kids. I know I'm not always going to get it right, but if my kids see my appreciating my body more often than they see me hating on it, hopefully that will be enough for us to have played our part in ridding the next generation of this ludicrous problem. And maybe the added bonus will be that if I stop doing it so openly, I'll do it less often internally too! Fingers crossed eh?!