Clutter is the enemy of clarity

I've been in decluttering mode for months now - it started during my second pregnancy, when I had the sudden realisation that having two kids meant I was going to have to be super organised. There was going to be a whole extra person's stuff in my home (babies do NOT travel light) and I didn't want to feel overwhelmed by out belongings, so I needed to try to get ahead of the curve.

I managed a whole go through of the house while I was pregnant, getting rid of some stuff and putting some organisation systems in place. Despite that, I'm now three months into having two kids and I'm constantly chasing my tail to keep on top of my to do list for even the basics of keeping the house tidy and clean. It's tough, and it's beginning to get me down, so I want to try to unpack what's going on so that I can do something about it.

Here are the reasons I think I'm struggling:

Wrong systems in place

Like most people, I have the me that I would like to be and the me that I actually am. I would love to be the Pinterest-inspired, Insta-worthy mum/homeowner, but I'm just too practical for that - I need function over form (see my last blog on the kids' playroom for how this works in action).

On my first round of the house, I organised in several different ways without taking the time to really understand what works for me. I also organised based on how I want things to work for me without properly considering that there are three other people living here, and their styles are different to mine; if I want their help maintaining the house then it has to work for them too.

I have recently binge-watched an American TV series called Hot Mess House - the presenter, Cas, has her own organising business (Clutterbugs). Watching this, and some of her YouTube videos, has helped me to realise that I like detailed, highly organised, visual solutions, whereas my husband is more laid back and needs solutions to have broader, easier categories. The kids are too young to have a preference but they need easy, visual solutions so they are more aligned with my husband. It would appear we mostly lean towards visual organisation, but if I want everyone to be involved then I may have to compromise on the level of detail within our systems.

A great example of how we differ is our kitchen - I like to decant all of our shopping into containers in our cupboards and fridge so that I can see exactly what we have. It also makes everything look more uniform and has the added benefit of being able to grab and go one-handed; when you have a 3 month old and a 3 year old demanding your attention this is crucial for staying hydrated and fed during the day (it also means our 3 year old can self-serve his snacks and drinks while I'm feeding his sister). The problem with this solution is that my husband likes minimal fuss when he's tidying up (dump and go is his default), so he hates decanting everything. This means I have to go behind him and do it when he's the one to put the shopping away, meaning that it's easier for me to just do it all in the first place.

I'm not sure what the solution to this is, but I know we need to find one.

Too much stuff

Watching shows Hot Mess House and Stacey Solomon's Sort Your Life Out have helped me to realise that my first round of decluttering and organising wasn't anywhere near ruthless enough. I can't say that I love or use everything in my house, which means I still have more to get rid of. I'm a big over-thinker, so I always tend to see the potential use for something, or worry about needing it in the future, or feel guilty for letting it go because it was a gift/cost a lot of money.

I also have a habit of over-buying - if I pop out for one thing I never come home with just that one thing. I have a drawer full of chocolate in my fridge (if you don't already store your chocolate in the fridge, I seriously recommend it), but I still buy more everytime I go to B&M/Home Bargains.

I know now that I need to be more ruthless, both in and out of my home, because it's not just about getting rid of the stuff that's already here, it's about learning not to bring more stuff back in as well.

Unrealistic expectations

Like I said before, there's the me I want to be and the me I am. The me I want to be aims for picture-perfect, Home Edit worthy organisation that is never out of place because the whole family maintains it. The me I am is a mum of two young kids wiht very little time and energy on my hands, whose perfectionist tendencies end up creating pressure that doesn't need to be there.

My life is currently entirely focused on raising my children, and while I need my house to be more practical and efficient, I need to be ok with letting go of the idea of a perfect home. I often look around, see things I'd like to change or improve, and get frustrated because I can't get to it right now - I need to learn the patience of doing a little but at a time and seeing improvements accumulate over time.

Some of this self-inflicted pressure comes from the fact that I am now a stay-at-home mum. I hate feeling unproductive and I've somehow created the belief that if I don't manage to run a perfect home then I'm not being productive with all of my time at home and I'm a bad mum/wife. Logically I can appreciate that these things are unrelated, but it still seems to be driving my actions and thinking. Unpicking this belief is going to be key to moving forward successfully and not feeling down about (inevitable) mild mess and clutter in my home, so if anyone has any tips, feel free to send them over!

So what it all boils down is that decluttering isn't about just decluttering for me. It's partially about having an easier home life, but it's also about having a feeling of control over my life, undoing bad habits, learning to be kinder to myself and getting closer to the me that I want to be.

All of this is going to take time and patience, neither of which I have in abundance. Wish me luck!

P.S. Here's what that very unorganised drawer looked like once I was done with it... (nice and organised but still way too many candles!)